I haven't been here for quite a while.
Seemingly lost under the heavy drapes of everyday living. Sometimes too weary to find my way back here to this place in my smiling mind.
Like many of us, I lose my way a little. Perhaps I am failing to find that elusive balance; instead being a bystander in my own life, seeing the warm familiarity fade as my unrealised dreams wash away.
It takes a shift, a change. And with that slight of hand, a chance to fight back. Fumble through layers of expectations and demands that have smothered me somehow. And as I push the heaviness away, I find it is still here. That robust bubble of brightness that is rooted within me. My smiling mind. And I feel a sense of relief as I recognise that glimmer of hope, bobbing buoyantly. As free as I feel with this effervescent rush, I am anchored knowing that it doesn't matter how long I've been gone, I can come back.
We all fall prey to the marching drudgery of grey and with this subliminal surrender, we sacrifice some of our riches. Creativity caught choking on clouds of dust, colliding with commitment. And I should know this by now. But I can't seem to stop the inevitable slide into the slipstream of mind numbing normalcy. Like colouring inside the lines, I am constrained by the rigidity of routines and demands that are unyielding. Automatically turning the pages of a well-read book, I progress without taking the time to appreciate all that's here. So I go back again. Retrace my steps, trudging through the same chapter. Different day, same sense of senselessness. It is then that I become aware of my own disconnect. And this is not where I should be. Passive and existing, skimming along the surface of a vanilla veneer? No. This is not who I am. And I fight back.
I step outside. Shed the shroud. Fresh air and breathing space.
Depth and vibrancy bring me back.
Yes I've been gone a little too long but I'm here energised once again. I'm feeling alive with the pure joy of life.
Bright sky
Wet rain
Warm socks
Buzzing brain
Maybe one of a kind but this is a tiny peek inside my smiling mind...
Wednesday, 22 June 2016
Lifelong Journey of Love…
You will feel it
Live it
Breathe it
Think it
Believe it
Be a part of it
The love of a mother is like no other
No words
No colours
No senses
Will ever truly encompass
That true beauty
Of a mother’s love
The engulfing
Overwhelming
Suffocating
Driving
Compassion and yearning
You will have for your child
The first look
The first touch
The first smile
The first kiss
The first recognition of you
As a mother
A hug that will come with time
An embrace that will squeeze the very breath out of your
heart that has ached for so long
A connectedness that
Completes you
A tiny human
A tangible reflection of
What you offer this world
And the love that is outpouring
With her first tears
You will weep
As you remain uneasy
She may sleep
Standing over her as her chest gently falls
The true purpose of new life calls
A tentative touch
That will hurt so much
Her first meaningful word
Waited to be heard
The sound of her play
Will soothe your pain away
You have made it to this starting place
Together, mother and daughter, life you will face
The smallest noticed thing
Will ultimately make your heart sing…
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