I haven't been here for quite a while.
Seemingly lost under the heavy drapes of everyday living. Sometimes too weary to find my way back here to this place in my smiling mind.
Like many of us, I lose my way a little. Perhaps I am failing to find that elusive balance; instead being a bystander in my own life, seeing the warm familiarity fade as my unrealised dreams wash away.
It takes a shift, a change. And with that slight of hand, a chance to fight back. Fumble through layers of expectations and demands that have smothered me somehow. And as I push the heaviness away, I find it is still here. That robust bubble of brightness that is rooted within me. My smiling mind. And I feel a sense of relief as I recognise that glimmer of hope, bobbing buoyantly. As free as I feel with this effervescent rush, I am anchored knowing that it doesn't matter how long I've been gone, I can come back.
We all fall prey to the marching drudgery of grey and with this subliminal surrender, we sacrifice some of our riches. Creativity caught choking on clouds of dust, colliding with commitment. And I should know this by now. But I can't seem to stop the inevitable slide into the slipstream of mind numbing normalcy. Like colouring inside the lines, I am constrained by the rigidity of routines and demands that are unyielding. Automatically turning the pages of a well-read book, I progress without taking the time to appreciate all that's here. So I go back again. Retrace my steps, trudging through the same chapter. Different day, same sense of senselessness. It is then that I become aware of my own disconnect. And this is not where I should be. Passive and existing, skimming along the surface of a vanilla veneer? No. This is not who I am. And I fight back.
I step outside. Shed the shroud. Fresh air and breathing space.
Depth and vibrancy bring me back.
Yes I've been gone a little too long but I'm here energised once again. I'm feeling alive with the pure joy of life.
Bright sky
Wet rain
Warm socks
Buzzing brain
Maybe one of a kind but this is a tiny peek inside my smiling mind...
No comments:
Post a Comment