Seriously?

Such a sodding simple word. 

It conjures arched eyebrow, voiced incredulity and a slightly tacky frothing spittle in that left corner of the mouth. Seriously? It doesn't really matter what precedes the announcement but the questioning of 'Seriously,' is a slice of cliched life in itself. 

Am I right?

Have we not all had moments that require the pregnant pause followed by one of the following? 

1) Deep, I mean ridiculously deep inhale. Ribs creak in protest as you exercise muscles you have only heard about from that annoying gym-junkie friend that flits in and out of your life in a flash of black-n-hot-pink-Lorna-Jane-I've-been-shrink-wrapped-like-a-shortrind-bacon-pack. You really don't know why you have kept this person around. Could be as they are probably the most visual reminder you could have to pre-empt those awful New Year Resolutions that seem to come around - AGAIN.  Yes, yes. Slimming, exercising, pumping and grinding... Mmm. It is soooo totally not you. When you first heard the phrase bench press, you pictured a gleaming silvery machine that flattens that pasta stuff, yeah? When someone uttered 'triceps,' you idly asked 'Try what? Is that a new antiseptic throat lozenge? Good, I must get myself some.' 

Clearing of my throat. 

So, getting back to my point. Pause. Deep inhale. Shoulders back and with the pent up agility of a slowly awakening three-toed sloth, you breathe out. And as the slightly gastri-acid-ee air escapes (yes, I know that I should have followed up with that gastroscopy to tackle my gastric reflux... but, I dunno I quite like the excuse to try to eat more calming foods at around midnight) so comes the word...'Ssssseeerrrriouslyyyyyyy.'

It is a sweetened combination of a slightly giddy light headedness from breathing properly and the sensory satisfaction you get as you allow your tongue to push against the back of your teeth in an extensive 'ess' sound. 

TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>